Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
