please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
