take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
