I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We have so much sex to catch up on
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
