Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
