True but thats because hes a fetus.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
