i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
