lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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