My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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