Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
