I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
