He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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