i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
