is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
