Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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