you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
