How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
