he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
