I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
