she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
