I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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