It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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