And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
