So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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