apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
