So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
