Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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