That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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