I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
