Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The struggles of a small town man whore
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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