My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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