Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
