Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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