tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
