and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
