you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
