Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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