Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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