you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
