Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
where am i from again
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
