first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
