Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
