talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
