After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
