So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
