I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
