just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
