Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You took a bar mat shot.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
