Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
