don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
