MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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