Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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