Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
