I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
