Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
